Confession TIme

So I launched my new website over a year ago without much fanfare. I simply wanted to house all my offerings under one roof instead of managing more than 3 online platforms. I did it with my best intentions and a lot of love. And then, I put it on a shelve and dust started to accumulate, sadly.

I was committed to writing a bi-weekly, or at least a monthly, blog even if I’m not a blogger or the best writer on the block. But I’ve been stuck in paralysis mode since then. Yes, I’ve continued to teach my 1:1 Pilates clients. I’ve continued to coach my health coaching clients virtually, and I’ve also been on a stop and go with the launch of my digital group course on living simply well day to day.

I’m hesitant to complain, but oh well, I will. There have been lots of transitions this year like my hubby now being gone a lot more since starting a new job, he was also self-employed as I am. That meant that the buddy system we had to help each other with house stuff and with our littlest one, was no longer there. Having construction and chaos for months in my house from a major water breakage, was also very disruptive. Having my oldest in her senior year of HS and applying for schools and all of what that process involves. Also, the transitions my other two loves were going through, one as a HS freshman and the smallest as a pre-k student. Surely never a dull moment.

To add on, I’ve not asked for a lot of help. I have been on the task of doing it all by myself. This is slowly, but steadily changing. So with that feeling of not enough hours in the day to do it all, I found myself prioritizing work over self-care. I now know I was prioritizing wrong and also not working efficiently with the little time I had. I became short-tempered, exhausted, didn’t allow much free time for not even a coffee with a friend during the day because that would rob me of “my” time. I know how pathetic that sounds. Because I know, real time interaction with real people is paramount for our well being. So yes, I became withdrawn, tired and frankly miserable!

Since writing my first little intro blog, winter passed, spring, summer, and fall came and I was stuck!!

In my effort to make my life and biz simple I started to overcomplicate it all. Signed up for way too many courses to help guide me with my stuckness (I know that’s not a word). Found myself working almost all the time when I wasn’t either teaching at my Pilates Studio, meeting my 1:1 coaching clients, doing household chores or spending time with my beloved family. I found myself also sneaking time during the weekends, letting go of fun activities, doing “busy work” that clearly did not produce much.

I kept going and really felt like the “Little Train that Could”. Then, in the last few weeks, it just hit me, I felt burnt out and I said to myself, “Stop! You’re driving yourself crazy!! I surrendered.

I found myself immensely craving what I preach and decided I had to put myself first. I had to put a stop to the crazy merry go round. My body was screaming for the proper downtime and rest, for more pampering, for more movement and more consistency in my Pilates practice, for more deep quality time and connection with my loved ones, in all honesty, just real simple things!

So this is the time to make a reset in my routine, forgive myself for some of the time wasted since not all of it was in vain, and I’m ready for a new beginning.

I’m committed to starting my mornings right, not jolted and rushed out of the door. To have a time in the day to sit with myself to reflect, meditate (working on this one), or to simply be grateful and aware for my lucky chance to have another day.

To fuel my body with yummy, energizing and nutritious foods with little cheats here and there 🙂

To fully disconnect from work when back home from my Studio and off the computer when finished doing my virtual work.

To enjoy real quality time with family and friends when together. I’m not going to lie, even they need to work on disconnecting and taking time off doing their busy work (school, social media, tv and all of the busy stuff keeping us away from real connection nowadays)

Most importantly, I’m committed to working hard to let go of the monkey mind, that busy head that never rests. The worries and uncertainties that come up about life, that in the end, I know, there’s only so much I can control.

In my effort of letting go of my busy mind, this little tip has helped me. I now keep a small notebook in my bag, I use a little pocket Moleskine, and throughout the day if thoughts, ideas, to-dos, worries, or anything that could keep popping up, gets dumped in that little notebook. I also use a couple of Apps on my phone that have really helped. Currently, Evernote and Awesome note, are my to go to. I plan to write a future blog on productivity hacks and apps that help you manage your days, routines, time and project that you may have.

If you’ve made it this long on my post, a big thank you for hearing me out!

So after almost a year of not being so gentle with myself and still coaching, teaching my private clients, managing life, and teaching others about healthy habits and a balanced life, I’ve had a big “AHA”. NO ONE but “YOU”, is going to do the job of taking care of your own self! Yes, we all need support, but committing to your health and well-being, and most importantly doing the work that it takes to truly feel good, has to be done by YOU!

Now over to you. Have you ever felt like you’re on a hamster wheel, not prioritizing time or just simply overwhelmed by it all?

Let this coming new year be the year you and I commit to taking better care of ourselves. And as a ripple effect, benefit all the others that we care for and deeply love.

Let’s do this!

With much love,