How to Deal with Your Inner Critic


It is my job to help women break through and overcome the blocks that are keeping them stuck when it comes to their body, mind, and health. But even though I live and breathe what I teach, I can slip up, too. 

Earlier this week, I posted a video chatting about how important mornings are, especially during this strange time of the constant unknown. I was so excited and felt good at that moment, talking about my passions and reaching out to women who may be struggling. 


Like so many of us do, I rewatched the video, and I found myself judging and saying awful things about myself: “Ugh, those glasses don’t suit me, and I hate how my nose looks!” And then, it got worse. 

“How can I be such a hypocrite?! Who am I to lift up other women when I am being so mean to myself? I should be grateful for a nose to smell dinner cooking. I should be thankful to have sunglasses to protect my eyes from the sun.”

I let that good feeling get dragged down by my inner critic. Ugh.


Despite helping others with this exact same thing, even I am not immune to negative self-talk. It happens to all of us. And it is up to us to take action when we hear that mean voice pipe up! Unfortunately, if you’ve let that mean voice hold the microphone for too long, it is going to take some work to overcome. 

Learning to be friends with yourself, and that voice that really loves you, takes time. It takes practice. My own practice is why I quickly realized what was happening when the mean voice started chattering; then I was able to use my trusted self-care tools to give myself the grace and kindness that I (and you!) deserve.


The next time that mean voice in your head starts putting you down, judging you, and making you feel bad about yourself, try one of my tips below: 

  • Answer yourself! Instead of listening, and absorbing the mean words, answer back. If you hear, “your nose is too big,” answer with, “Actually, Elvy, your nose suits you perfectly; it is the same nose your mother has, and her mother, too. Everyone always says how beautiful they are, and you look just like them.”
  • Ask yourself what you would say to your best friend if you heard them speaking like this. 
  • If you can, write the thoughts down. Reflect on why you are saying them. If you can realize where the thoughts come from, it becomes easier to overcome them. 
  • Consciously question the voice: Is that really true? Does it really matter? 
  • Turn the words upside down; instead of “I am always making dumb mistakes,” respond with something like: “mistakes show that I am trying, and I am learning from my mistakes”. 
  • Remember - no one is perfect! Perfect is boring, anyways. 
  • If your inner critic talks to you too often, and you are having trouble turning the words around, reach out to someone who can help. 

It can be exhausting fighting negative-self talk. Working with someone can help you get to the bottom of the problem, help you recognize patterns, and give you tools that will work for you. Oh, and by the way - that is exactly what I do with my clients! 

As a Transformational Holistic Health Coach, I help women who struggle with body image to find their spark, nourish their bodies and minds, and make their health a priority. I’m an expert in helping women truly connect to their heart and what matters to them. If you are ready to replace your self-critic with a voice that loves and cares for you, let’s talk!